I had taken a stab at writing songs, singing them and humming the tunes since I was 7 I would say. I would dream and dream and dream and dream.
I was free, I lived free, my dad told a lot of stories of powerful people and my knack for power must have grown from there. I loved the ability to influence a people, make them see in my own perspective or at least a perspective different than they already knew. The ability to positively sway people was always a welcomed thumbs up for me, but the child I knew as the loudest, most bubbly, free-spirited child in the pack had become the mute Owl, the last and certainly no where near the loudest voice in the room anymore.
I’ve known the sting of a bee, the bite of a termite but oh, the sting of rejection, it hurt deeper than a beehive, it drove me to silence and at other times to numbness. I had grown numb, I didn’t want to have to be silenced, after all a mute dog suffered no rebuke.
I became the most quiet of them all, yet I had views, oh I had views. I had an opinion as to any and everything, but the fear of rejection, it was louder than any view regardless of how wide, stellar, freeing or dramatic that was or those were. So I kept quiet, at other times I quit outings, more often than nought I wouldn’t even show up even if I wanted to, what if a “Rejecter” was lurking around the corner.
But all that would change when like Esau I eventually got tired of gagging myself and choking on my own views or so I thought.
What I really came to find was, God found me and gave me My Voice back – Renewed, Refreshed and with a solid Identity in place.
My voice had always being to His glory, for His glory and even though I had been a tongue talking, bible- speaking Christian, I guess I hadn’t opened up my life to all of the Freedom and Revealing Reality and Beauty that existed in using This Voice to the glory of my Maker, but not anymore.
I am God’s Mouth Piece and to the one who has being gagged up for so long, so Are you- God’s Mouthpiece, and your views matter.
Yours in Reconditioning,