Heinsight

FAMILY SERIES: WHAT PARENTS THINK TEENS DON’T KNOW

matthew

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HOST: Good-day viewers out there, you’re welcome to your favourite T.V show “Teens Corner”, I remain your host Adenike Omoboriowo.
Today, we will be sharing a very sensitive topic titled “Things Parents Think Teens Don’t Know About”

As children grow, they begin to attain the stage of Adolescence where they do not only grow physically and emotionally but they also grow intellectually. At this stage, they inquire about a lot of things, they want to know what is what, and this is the point in their life where they need communication with their parents most. Unfortunately, many parents fail in this area, refusing to educate and answer questions from their curious teenagers. They feel they are still too young to know what is already known to them; but on the contrary, these teens know more than the parents do as the T.V, Magazines, internet and friends substitute for their role in educating them.
This morning, here with me are teenagers who are ready to say it all out. Without wasting time let’s begin with my first guest, Bode

BODE: I’m 17 yrs, I came from a family of four and I’m the eldest, my challenge is my parents. Things are getting worst day by day between them. They fight before going to bed and wake up to continue. It’s becoming too much and it’s tearing me apart. The worst part is that they never believe that I and my siblings are affected. At my age, they still believe I’m blind to all that it’s happening. People just come to my house and believe things are perfect because my dad is an Elder and my mum a Deaconess. I’m sick of their life of pretence.

HOST: How does it all happen?

BODE: Uhm! I don’t actually want to talk about that, but I will! It all got blown open when my Dad refused to give up on alcohol even after being made an Elder in church, he comes home drunk every weekend and when my Mummy raises up her voice, he would lock the door and starts beats her up, believing we won’t know but we do. She is presently threatening to pack out. I’ve been praying, God is telling me to be strong, but my ‘strong’ is broke.

HOST: That’s serious! Parents’ insensitivity to their children’s emotions. We’ll come back to you. Let’s hear from our second guest, Tade.

TADE: I don’t really know what to call my own class of challenge.

HOST: Go ahead and just explain.

TADE: Okay, my parents are quite wealthy and they’ve been able to meet all our needs. I do really thank God for that; but the issue is that their pursuit of wealth is affecting me… they don’t know me! They never create time to be with us not even on holidays, they only drop money for us to get whatever we want. I grew up at the mercy of our “maid-turned-mother”, who locks us up on the instruction of my parents, and now that I’m 18, I can’t relate well with people because I just can’t. The day I poured out my mind to my dad about finding time for us especially for my siblings because as for me, I am already used to it. You won’t just believe his reaction, he flared up and called me an ingrate, that all he’s doing is all for us, asking me if I want him to give up his job for us. I was disappointed, and since then, I gave up trying.

HOST: Thanks Tade, let’s hear you John.

JOHN: Mine is different but I believe all teens will relate with it. I don’t know if my parents know about pornography, but I do! They don’t all know of my struggle with pornography, but I do struggle with it! It’s all over me, in the T.V, Magazine and Internet. I don’t know how to break off it.

HOST: Have you ever discussed it with your parents?

JOHN: You want to kill me! Nobody in my family has ever taken cognizance of the fact that I’m growing, my parents never talked to me about such things. I have free access of exposure to watch whatever I deem fit. To worsen the matter, there is a shop close to my house where such pornographic magazines and videos are sold, my parents know about it but just believe I can never go there, but I do. On a day I mistakenly told my mum that I was going to get a C.D from the shop, she flared up, wanting to know why I would go there and sternly warned me never to go there. When I asked why, she gave no reply, just insisted that I should not go there. Isn’t that odd?

HOST:
• I know your mum thought you’ve never been there before, but she was wrong. This is one of the problems of parent-child communication, parents treating teens like babies, asking them to stay away from things without giving relevant reasons.
• Let’s hear your view Bukky

BUKKY: Mine is quite interesting, although kind of similar to John’s. My parents always avoid the sex topic or maybe they are afraid of the unknown result. I do everything possible to get them open up to me and if my mum wants to guide me, all she says is that “Hen, Bukky, the things that married people do to have children, don’t do it o” and I’m always like “what should I not do” but she will just go blank. It isn’t that I don’t know what she’s talking about, infact who wouldn’t know in this age where sex display is everywhere even in cartoon movies meant for children. I just want to hear from them but if I keep asking, they will begin to take me for a promiscuous child.

HOST: That’s serious, how do you mean?

BUKKY: Here is an illustration, whenever we are watching movie together and any sexual display shows up, all they do is change the channel and when I ask why, they tell me it isn’t meant for me. For crying out loud, am 17 years, instead for them to discuss with me, they only try to hide what I already known. Infact, they believe I’m a Pope.

HOST: This is quite revealing! Seun, what do you have to say about this?

SEUN: Bukky is totally right, my experience also falls in the same class of challenge. My mum thinks I’m too young to talk to boys even at age 17+, she won’t allow me move with them, checking my phone every now and then, asking me to stay away from boys’ but she never for once sit me down to advice me as a mother. The irony of it all is that she still never got to know about the fact that I already have a boyfriend for almost 2yrs now. One day I asked her why she was treating me like a 7yrs old baby and she said “Don’t mix up with them unless you want to have a baby”. I almost bursted into wild laughter; for God’s, am an adult, talk to me as one; if you don’t, life experience will. Actually, I knew what she was talking about but she made the wrong approach, she was trying to prevent me from having sex which will lead to pregnancy but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t talk with them.

HOST: Uhm! Am speechless, viewers and parents out there, you’ve heard it all. More is still to come. Join me in our next edition for the concluding part of this series titled “Things Parents Think Teens Don’t Know About”. Till then, Parents don’t forget “If you don’t train them, don’t blame them”

Heinsight

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT: A PRE-REQUISITE FOR POSSESSING YOUR POSSESSION (Part 2)

matthew

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AVENUES FOR SELF DEVELOPMENT
1. GOD DISCOVERY: The train of personal development runs in the track of God discovery; it is in discovering God that our true self becomes unveiled. All the patriarchs in the scripture and those with lasting success in our world are God-pursuers.

2. PURPOSE DISCOVERY AND TENACITY: This is the next step in the journey to personal development; purpose discovery is the product of God discovery. Destiny is beautified when purpose is unveiled. You have to be in your assignment to develop yourself in that field in other to possess your possession. Many Christians are wrongly located, cultivating another man’s farmland and expecting to emerge in their promise-land. Abraham and Isaac were victims of wrong placement; they never possessed their promised inheritance until they discovered where they should be. Right location is an ultimate requirement for conquest.
Moreso, the principle of tenacity, called ‘stick-to-itiveness’ needs to be adopted. This means staying in your purpose where other fields become unattractive. You can only emerge in your Canaan-land by remaining where you’re sent, you end up a charade going where you’re not sent. Everyone going in one direction does not qualify for overboard success. There is a special place for you, a specific problem you’re designed to solve and a unique task that can get you to your dream-world. We take up responsibilities to become relevant.

3. WISDOM: Wisdom is an indispensable platform for victory in every human endeavour; it is the core demand of possession. Strength does not prevail in the warfare of contending for inheritances, it takes wisdom to emerge a success.
The book of Proverbs chapter 4 verse 7 had this to say about wisdom: “Wisdom is the Principal thing, therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting, get understanding”. Many Christians possess great faith, and some are even prayer warriors without visible effect in achievements, all due to lack of Wisdom. We need not to forget that it takes wisdom to walk with the Author of all Wisdom.

To acquire this wisdom for self development towards possessing our inheritance, two major avenues are important:
– The Scripture: The instruction in the bible are the highest instructions in all human affairs (2 Tim 3:16-17). Friend, everything we ever need to walk into our promised inheritances is all wrapped up in between those two covers of the bible. The world bows down to those who bow their heads to unveil the boundless truth of the scripture. The word of God is above all!
– Relevant Skill and Information: Romans 12:1 charges us to get transformed through the renewal of our mind. The world of self development is at the mercy of current, relevant and updated information. God’s promise of a great destiny is not in isolation of self-equipping with relevant information in your field.
The current upsurge in the use of Information and Communication Technology, which ought to be an avenue for accessing relevant information and self development, has unfortunately become a trap to many youths, spending the best part of their time on irrelevant information. Thus, many lose focus and got their dreams thwarted. Friend, you need to make your difference entirely different to stand out.

CONCLUSION
Hit it hard and wish it well: In every great endeavour, a price must be paid. Personal development is the cost for walking triumphantly into our possession. We must lay it to heart that the promise land of our dream is always guided by giants, thus a contending is required if possession is desired. The Children of Israel had to fight towering giants to take possession of their God-ordained inheritances.
Friend, victory requires two essentials as seen in the experience of the Israelites – The work of God’s children and the Miracles of their God. The cities of Jordan would be conquered only when the soles of the feet of the people touched their territory. The walls of Jericho would only fall after God’s children marched. For every blessing and possessions, there was a price to be paid; and ours will not be an exemption. Give your best and expect the best.

Finally, I end with the all time effectual prayer of Apostle Paul to the Ephesians:
I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritances in the saints – Eph. 1:18

Heinsight

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT: A PRE-REQUISITE FOR POSSESSING YOUR POSSESSION (Part 1)

matthew

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The Lord said to me, “See, I have begun to deliver Sihon and his country to you. Now begin to conquer and possess his land – Deut. 2:31

Taking possession of God’s promises has been an aspect in the Christian faith that has suffered great abuse and gross misconception. We pray, fast and ‘exercise’ faith in other to possess our God given promise; yet, the promise-land remains unattainable.

God’s promises are always followed by opportunities to fulfil those promises; opportunities to enlarge our coast, to recover our lost possessions and above all, opportunities to be the best for God. However, when these opportunities come, they meet many Christians unprepared for it. God does the ‘delivering’, it’s your responsibilities to do the conquering and possessing.

GOD’S DEMAND: PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Personal development is the God’s required human aspect/role in the fulfilment of covenant of blessing. God is all powerful, almighty and all-sufficient, yet He can only faithfully play His own role while expecting you to do likewise.

Possession is not taken in idleness, it requires building the required capacity because content is a function of capacity. God’s way still remains the highway to life, He gives idea, you work it out; He gives the dream, you live the dream; He gives vision, you walk in it and above all, He delivers possession to your door-post, but you do the possessing. So you see, the deposit of Greatness has been made by God, only awaiting your discovery, capacity building and the eventual possession.

He has made everything beautiful in His time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end – Eccl. 3:11

The above scripture summarises the lot of many Christians, having all we need to emerge in our Canaan-land but never fathoming it.

Friend, it is when opportunities meet preparation that possession is birthed. The bane to our Christian superiority in today’s world is not the devil, it is ignorance deeply rooted in lack of self-development. We refuse to play our own role, only to hide under the guise of God’s faithfulness to his promises; No wonder God lament over his people saying “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge (Hos. 4:6). Friend, any faith that makes God entirely responsible for all the events of your life is an irresponsible faith.

The story was once told of two farmers, both trusting and importuning God for rain on their farmland. One of them went ahead to cultivate his farm and continued to trust God for the rain; while the other did nothing, save praying and trusting. The faithful God did finally send the rain, and I trust you already know who got blessed. Friend, we need to go all out to get ready for the rain of opportunities, God will send it when it’s time.

The scripture is filled with pictures of individuals whom despite having God’s unfailing promises in their life, still had to go all out to work out the realization of the promises. The Israelites had the promise of the land flowing with milk and honey, God even sworn that He had delivered it into their hands, yet they had to build up capacity to fight in order to take possession. Jacob inherited a generational covenant of blessing, yet he had to work his hands into the blessing; David’s promise of kingship was not delivered to him until God sent him to the college of self development for kingship and warfare.

AVENUES TO SELF DEVELOPMENT (Upcoming Part 2)

Heinsight

EMPTINESS OF SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS

matthew

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So many times I have tried to please God with my life and plan. I make effort to remain holy, pure and perfect. I lay out rules of dos and don’ts of staying holy. My plans of self-discipline seem perfect, and I seem to please God with my ‘perfect’ holy life. I even perceive God atimes smiling and saying “This is my beloveth son in whom I’m well pleased”
Just when I had thought all was well and perfect, then the unexpected showed up….

“I just can’t believe it was me! How could I have done that….. how could I have been thinking about such immoral act; I can’t believe I just lied. That simply can’t have been the “holy me”
……. and the guilt of my failings enveloped me.

I felt so distant from God, I can’t approach him, and oh I perceived him raging with madness at me. I just knew He couldn’t forgive me because I was in my right senses when I was failing him, I wasn’t forced to lie. I wasn’t on gun-point when I took the decision to defile myself with sinful thoughts and actions. I did them all because it was pleasing to my flesh and my emotion is the driving master who will never say no or stop while enjoying the act.

Then, while in my self-defeat, out of nowhere comes a still voice saying “I am not mad at you, am only not pleased with what you’re doing with who you are”. Oh! That must be God!…..That statement came as a double edged sword in my spirit. First, of condemnation of not seeing my worth and value in God’s lenses to have settled for such act; and a second edge of hope that the righteous God is still interested in a “self-righteous sinful me”.

So now I know I’m not of value to God only when I abide by the 10 commandments, and even the 11th, or when I go down the stretch yielding to the dictates of my flesh. My value isn’t in my perfection or works of righteousness, but perfected in the Blood purchased Grace. The more I humble myself, drop my self-righteousness, then I can take up His Grace – a substitution of weakness for His strength. This is not strength to boast to sin saying “I can never fall to you”, but Grace to accept my inadequacies and receive His strength to stand when temptation shows forth (1Cor 10:13). That is true Maturity!

Heinsight

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH JESUS?

matthew

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As I returned into my hotel room after the day’s work on an assignment in another state, all that was next on my mind was my bed. I got in, dressed down and was having my lunch when I heard a knock on my door. It was the hotel house-keeper who brought my clothes – washed and ironed. I thanked him, and just as he was about to leave, the Holy spirit told me “He needs Jesus”. Immediately, I welcomed him back to the room that I will like to know him more. This he gladly accepted and sat on the chair. We discussed in details from his career, his business, his family, his struggles with life…… then the real one – eternity! I then asked him a question which I summarised as “What are you doing with Jesus”? To this, he immediately became cold.

After sharing the love of Jesus with him and identifying with his struggle amidst the two opposing polars of eternity – sin and righteousness/purity, I told him “the closer you are to Jesus, the farther you are to the devil/sin”. He wept softly as he admitted his need for Jesus and his struggle to take a stand for him. I further shared with him the provision of Grace in Jesus, and invited him to the offer of Calvary. This he accepted, surrendered and dedicated his life to Jesus as we held hands confessed and prayed together.

As this new year begins to roll by, I ask you too “What are you doing with Jesus”?

Little boy holding a Thank you God sign- focus on the boy's hair.
Heinsight

MAKE IT THANKSGIVING, NOT COMPARISON

matthew

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Happy New Year!
It’s indeed a time to say “Thank you”. Thank you to your spouse for making 2021 a joyful one. Thank you to friends and colleagues for being there all through the year. Thank you to family for being the support you needed all through the tough year. Ultimately, a big thank you to the Almighty God for sustaining you and keeping your unceasing breathe all through the year..

Lord, we say THANK YOU. Thank you for every step we took in the year, for the evil that you turned around for good, for the provisions, for health – the divine health and the prescribed medication that works for the restoration of our health. Thank you for our emotional stability, that you for leading us beside still waters, thank you for being such a faithful shepherd. Thank you for making us a fragrance of your love and grace. Lord, we are grateful for a sound mind for every day of the year 2021. Thank you Lord.

Friend, as we burst forth in thanksgiving for all the goodness of the year, it’s important to keep it what it is – Thanksgiving and not in “better-than comparison”. The year was a tough one for everyone, a year the whole world battle to recover from epidemic and various disasters, people lost families, people became jobless, some were sick all the year and so many more that fail the mention of my ink. All these ones are not victims because they are less faithful or righteous; nor because of their sins. It happened because it happened.

So as you lift up your voice in praise, worship and thanksgiving in your closet, in church, in the fellowship, please be Christ-like enough to be mindful of your neighbors. Let your thanksgiving proceed from a heart of gratitude for your personal journey, and not how God has been good to you and wicked to others, not how he has kept you and “killed” others. That is not our God!

You are not this blessed because you have been good, prayed more or how well your other religious activities paid off so well. Instead of the better-than praise, thank him for how faithful he has been to your journey, for preventing you from being a beneficiary of the consequence of your mistakes. Like the one leper who returned with a heart-full of gratitude for his own healing, do the same for all he has done for you. Remember, thanksgiving is a focus on one’s personal journey!

May the Lord lead you into greater victories in 2022.

Heinsight

YOU’RE NOT DISADVANTAGED

matthew

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It’s always easy to first notice a shortcoming, a “but”, a challenge in people, life and events. The bible is replete of examples of people whose names were never recorded but were only named by their inadequacies. Remember – the widow of Zarephath (1 Kings 17:7-16), the mad man of Gadara (Mark 5:1-20), Blind Bartimaeus (Mark 10:46-52), the man born blind (John 9) the woman with the issue of blood (Mark 5:25-34) and many more.

It’s interesting to know that our God does not define us by our seeming disadvantages. When you think about people with profound disadvantage, Esther readily comes to mine. Let’s take a roll call of her disadvantages. She was an orphan – Lost both parents at a very tender age. She was a fugitive – an exile in a strange land. Her nationality is a complete disadvantage, so bad that it had to be hidden. She was a spiritually weak and fearful Jewess. In all these, God has her future well tucked in her name – Esther – a star! Her beginning and life’s experiences doesn’t portray her name, but amidst all these, God has everything well planned out.

Though it seems like coincidences, but these are divine providences. The pride of Vashti was part of the game, Haman’s unexplained anger on Mordecai, Mordecai’s stubbornness to bow to Haman, Haman’s collapse, and King’s interpretation of it to mean attempt to rape Esther was weaved into the plan. Esther was not just meant to live for herself, God had a bigger picture for her life – the “saviour” of the Jew nation. Who would have thought that a fearful orphan would become the Queen of the most powerful king and would be instrumental in saving an entire nation of the Jew?
God didn’t use Esther inspite of her weaknesses and disadvantaged background, but because of it. Her disadvantages make her pliable and usable in the Master’s hand. In the same way, all the enemy sees about you are your present disadvantaged condition and the many odds against you, but the Goodnews is that there is a script of God called “All things work together for Good” that the enemy is not privy of. HALELLUYAH! In that script, God already made provision for all that you are currently going through. He has the right relationship well-planned out for you, the divine providences are playing out in your favour. He has all the actors, acts and scenes of the movie all programmed for you to arrive at your expected end.

Friend, regardless of what disadvantage the Devil has fully sold to you, culture has made you believe about yourself; It holds no ground with what God has written about you and your future. He has everything about you well planned out, He is a specialist in weaving the tragedies, pains and seeming disadvantages of our lives together to bring about a praise for himself and provide beauty for ashes.

It’s a joy to know that the stories of all the above mentioned people who were first introduced by their shortcomings didn’t end the same, but in glorious testimonies. Friend, in the same way, God will not leave you halfway, he will not give an almost testimony. He has watched the beautiful movie of your life and he is relaxed because he knows the beautiful ending, you are only watching the replay. He will not leave you until His good plans for your life is fulfilled. Your seeming disadvantage is fast becoming a vantage point for your divine turnaround. Hang in there!

Heinsight

WHO ARE YOUR DREAM CARRIERS?

matthew

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His brothers said to him, “Do you intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule us?” And they hated him all the more because of his dream and what he had said. – Gen.37:8
“Here comes the dreamer!” they said to each other. “Come now, let us kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we will see what comes of his dreams”. – Gen.37:19-20.
This is obviously another great lesson to be learnt from the life of Joseph. You see, great dreams are naturally capable of provoking great jealousy and hatred. Man naturally feels threatened by another’s greater prospect. Joseph’s ten brothers were willing to kill him over a robe and a few reported dreams, their deep jealousy had grown into an ugly rage, completely blinding them to what was right. By sharing his dream with his brothers, his dream was on the verge of failure, if not for the God that makes all things work together for good!
Friend, hold unto this clearly: there is no one too close or loving to be exempted from a dream killer. It’s God that gives dream, it is yours to protect. “The way to kill a man with a great dream is to give him another one” says Myles Munroe. When we begin to share our God’s own designed plan planted in us as dreams with short-sighted people (Chaldeans), they won’t just be able to fathom its possibility. The best they can contribute is to help you remodify it to their perceived thought or kill your spirit with such words as “it is impossible; it has never been done; how could you imagine such?”
Many have become captives of bitterness and regret because they shared their dreams and plans with the Chaldeans. The reaction of Joseph’s brothers to his dream is typical of what can happen today when dreams are not well guarded. It breeds jealousy, envy and hatred. This is one reason why Godly mentor is needed or better still, a secured relationship with the originator of the dream. He is enough to help you deliver it safely (Is.66:9) and he can then lead you rightly to the true dream carriers.
So friend, don’t forget that as you are a dream carrier, someone else is also a dream poisoner. So, if God can send dream helpers to your life, devil can send more dream killers. The right people that will aid your dreams will never show up if you have the wrong people around you. Therefore, if you are mature enough to dream, then you must be strong enough to uphold and guide it.

Welcome to the fulfillment of your dreams!

Heinsight

THE BIBLE

matthew

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Truly, I have seen many ‘bestsellers’, read a variety of motivational books, inspirational magazines and success captions, but none of these have truly sold best, motivates best, inspired most or aided success best like the scripture. All of the above have their source and references from the incorruptible seed. Though, written over 2000 years ago, it is still relevant till eternity, as all happenings today have already been said in it. Its messages are just as relevant to our days as it was to Methuselah.

This book might not be your typical bestseller, but more and more copies of it are sold than any other in the world. Written by 39 different authors over the course of 3000 years, it was completed over 2000 years ago and contains 66 different books.

The bible is filled with stories of good and bad characters. It displays people who succeeded despite all odds and those who failed despite being provided with all that is needed to succeed, individuals who followed God and those who turned the other way. It is a collection of imperfect people, people with fatal flaws, people you and I can relate to, people with whom God wasn’t finished yet.

The Word Above All
If Christ could put this word above His name, what then should be the ultimate in your life if not this word! If you want to rise above satan all through your life, then get acquainted with the word. You study the word to get approved to command proofs because approval is a pre-requisite to commanding proofs (2Tim.2:15).

Look at these:
– Faith cannot grow without the word (Rom.10:17)
– Prayer can bring you success, the word upholds it (Joshua 1:8)
– Prayer can bring you healing; the word establishes it (Ps.107:20)
– Prayer can break bondage, the word secures your liberty (Ps.107:20)
– Prophecy can be released, the word confirms it (Lk.4:21)
– Money can bring you happiness, the word gives unspeakable joy (Ps.119:11)
– Money can give fleeting pleasure, the word gives a lasting treasure (Mat 24:35)
– Situations can fail, the word never fails (it is flawless) Prov.30:5
In this end-time and Revival season, may the Lord give you an increasing and unquenchable hunger for His Word (AMEN)